The Path to Domination

Lucas Ritter

Core writing

9-29-11
                                                          Chuck Norris: The Path to Domination

As a young boy on the street Chuck Norris always dreamed of becoming something more, much like most people. Unfortunately opportunity rarely comes to most people, especially living on the street, but this boy was lucky. One day he would come as close to rule the living world and the world of death as any creature has ever come to. This man is...CHUCK NORRIS.

    Chuck Norris was born in the fiery chasms of hell, but at the moment of his birth a terrible prophecy began to germinate in this fiery realm. The prophecy was of a terrible danger to Hades’, the king of the underworlds throne. The next demon born shall burn the Hades’ throne to the ground and take the underworld as his own. Chuck Norris was not a demon, but pretty darn close.  The thought terrified the lord of the underworld and as soon as the “demon” you call Chuck Norris was born, he was thrown to the surface and left to fend for himself, eventually picked up by a pack of wild dogs. For the next 20 years he lived on the streets under the watchful eyes of the pack. That is until he found something that would solve the question of his mysterious childhood forever.
    As he performed his daily routine, hunt, scavenge for goods, etc. one summer morning, something disrupted his usually calm routine, something that sparked a memory long forgotten. It was a bottle of shampoo. The title of it nearly worn away by age, but still nearly readable. The last readable part read, Hell’s Fire, The finest shampoo you’ll find in the underworld! He shrugged and rubbed some of the grungy liquid into his hair. He hadn’t had a chance to wash in years. That’s when it sparked. That smell like charcoal, that tingling feeling like fire, He was born in the underworld, and Hades threw him out! Being Chuck Norris, he wasn’t going to deal with that.
    As Chuck Norris descended into the darkness of an underground pipeline, following the trail he remembered as a baby when he was thrown into the light, his mustache hairs twitched following a trail that smelled of death. Eventually, after hours of crawling through darkness the scent grew suddenly stronger. His mustache twitched with curiosity. He then took one more small step and fell straight down into a seemingly bottomless pit. He let out a silent scream when suddenly, he stopped falling, not by hitting ground, but almost as if he was...floating. He let out a gasp as a  giant fist was clenched around his throat. Hades, he’d thought as Hades let out a soft chuckle, your time has come. That’s when he noticed the decaying skeletons surrounding him. His heart plummeted. No one has survived this he had thought, despairingly. No matter his fear though, he couldn't give up now! Then with a massive effort, he grabbed the hilt of a  vicious looking sword dropped there by a now decaying soldier years ago and slashed at the fist the size of a pineapple. A large battle was fought that night between the two until alas, hades lay dead on the ground. The battle was won and the rightful leader of the underworld had finally arisen.
    From a young jittery child tossed onto the streets, to a brave heroic leader,Chuck Norris had accomplished something no man had done before. Powered by rage he finally  found his destiny and in the end became a powerful noble brave leader who continues to fight for what’s right to this day. Perhaps he’s finally found happiness.